I read this as a recommendation from a mentor. This book is a great help as I made important decisions this year.
There are three main types of reciprocity styles: Takers and Givers:
Takers believe the world is a competitive, dog-eat-dog place. They believe in succeeding by being better than others. They feel like they’re in constant competition with others. They feel like they must prove their competence so they self-promote and make sure they get plenty of credit for their efforts.
Givers believe the world is a friendly place. They believe in succeeding by helping others and creating win-win situations. They’re interested in how their actions make others or the ‘whole’ better off. They are genuinely interested in helping others.
The biggest discovery for me in this book is that the most successful people are the givers. Can you guess who are the most unsuccessful people? Find out the answer in the footnote below. I bet your guess is not right.
Here are the 10 quotes from the book:
“As Samuel Johnson purportedly wrote, “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.”
“The more I help out, the more successful I become. But I measure success in what it has done for the people around me. That is the real accolade.”
“You never know where somebody’s going to end up. It’s not just about building your reputation; it really is about being there for other people.”
“This is what I find most magnetic about successful givers: they get to the top without cutting others down, finding ways of expanding the pie that benefit themselves and the people around them. Whereas success is zero-sum in a group of takers, in groups of givers, it may be true that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.”
“When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be. —attributed to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer, physicist, biologist, and artist”
“When takers win, there’s usually someone else who loses. Research shows that people tend to envy successful takers and look for ways to knock them down a notch. In contrast, when givers like David Hornik win, people are rooting for them and supporting them, rather than gunning for them. Givers succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of people around them.”
“So if givers are most likely to land at the bottom of the success ladder, who’s at the top—takers or matchers? Neither. When I took another look at the data, I discovered a surprising pattern: It’s the givers again.”
“Teachers’ beliefs created self-fulfilling prophecies. When teachers believed their students were bloomers, they set high expectations for their success. As a result, the teachers engaged in more supportive behaviors that boosted the students’ confidence and enhanced their learning and development”
“Psychological safety—the belief that you can take a risk without being penalized or punished. The higher the psychological safety in a unit, the fewer errors they made. Why? In the units that lacked psychological safety, health care professionals hid their errors, fearing retribution. As a result, they weren’t able to learn from their mistakes. In the units with high psychological safety, on the other hand, reporting errors made it possible to prevent them moving forward.”
The most unsuccessful are the givers. In the book, it details how this is the case, and how to avoid it. There is another type of person also which are the matchers. Every Friday, I am sharing ten quotes from a book that I have already read this year.