I have been writing about marriage. It is my hope that through my writing many will be encouraged to pursue it. That single friends will be reminded that it is not always fun, it can be exciting also as couples traverse the imperfections of being human.
I had several conversations also with single friends about pursuing someone. Last Saturday, at the peak of my curiosity, I created a survey about pursuing courtship and marriage. In my own perception, there are many single men and women in the church who can be good together but are not meeting at all. The survey will give me hints and insights on how single men and women perceive each other, and if they have a mentor to talk to about courtship and marriage.
I got 48 responses already as of this writing and will close the link by Wednesday. I initially planned to write about it by then. However, this response is so important to be kept to myself for days.
The respondent wrote, “…Maybe we have put so much weight on formal courtships (sounds like a process sometimes – you befriend, lay down, pursue etc.) that we forgot that it is something fun to do as well. It doesn’t sit right with me, because God never wanted us to put ourselves in a box – and looking up to all these courtship stories put up in pedestal does not help. The pattern of purity, respect, love and honor is a must. But i think the rest of our stories should be different. God is creative enough to provide that, we just have to start seeing it through eyes of faith.”
I totally agree with the response above. We should not forget that the Bible has no specific prescriptions and process on how to pursue courtship and marriage. It has standards only in terms of purity, respect and honor.
Isaac and Rebekah was from an arranged marriage. Jacob pursued and toiled for years to get Rachel. Ruth was a widow and married Boaz eventually. Joseph and Mary is a different love story in itself, and so much more.
Courtship stories are for us to be encouraged about faith. But it should not be put in a pedestal like it is the same for everyone. God is the best story teller. Pursue courtship and marriage in the eyes of faith. I can probably resonate to this because my wife and I were not friends. We got married and became best of friends during our first year of marriage.
If you are not sure how to start, find a godly mentor who is married and enjoy the wisdom on pursuing courtship and marriage. But remember, follow the principles and not the process.
God is surely writing a unique love story for you.
If you are a Christian from Victory Fort, you can share your thoughts by answering this survey: https://forms.gle/jQFNmTsofJdxedjG6 Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash