During the early days of my relationship with Richt, I had difficulty replying when she gave me random compliments. One time, we were walking and holding hands together, she blurted, “I am proud of you, and I love you.” I was stunned. I was out of words. My heart was raising not knowing how to respond. I clasped her hands, instead.
It is a struggle for me to respond to any compliments. In fact, my birthday is giving me anxieties because I do not want to be greeted and responding to greetings is not easy.
Then, there were days in our married life where I have bad dreams, bad nights, bouts of depression. Richt would calm me down. She will hug me tight. She will pray for me.
I learned about alexithymia. It is a term for when someone has a lot of difficulty translating their emotional experience into words. This is usually experienced by men. According to Mens Line Australia, the most acceptable basic human emotion in the society is happiness. While anger, sadness, and fear are universally felt by everyone, these emotions are not acceptable for the ‘macho image’ that society upholds. This is why men needs to hide those emotions or cope it on their own.
On a personal level, I learned that emotions hold no gender. It should be okay for me to feel sad, to be angry, and to be afraid also. I am currently making sure that I protect my mental health. I deleted social media. And I started to know, explore and recognize the different emotions.
To do that, I have been using Youper – an AI emotional health assistant. This is not a replacement to a doctor. It’s designed to be a self-care, self-help tool to empower you to take control of your emotional health and have better conversations with your doctor or health provider when you get a consultation. It does not provide diagnosis, medical or professional care.
The app is my emotion diary. I get to to identify different emotions and gives me steps on practicing gratitude, writing my intentions, or a mindfulness exercise.
This is a great help me! It might help you too. This is not just for men. But this is for everyone who wants to keep their emotions in check, and knowing where those emotions are coming from.
Photo by Alex Woods on Unsplash
This is not a paid article. I just love the app that it is a shame not to share it.