Courtship: Beginning and End

Being married opens me to new roles and it includes being a mentor or an adviser. This role involves being asked by friends about courtship and finding the ‘one’. Their only qualifier probably as one friend told me is because “I have crossed the bridge.”

“How to have a successful courtship?”

Men: Do not make it a goal to lay down your intention on the first date night.

Women: Do not assume that a guy’s invitation for coffee or dinner is for him to lay down his intention.

And friends, you are not exempted to this! Do not force your guy friend to lay down his intentions on the first date night. Do not feed assumptions to your girl friends that maybe the guy will lay down his intention to her.

If you are to have coffee or dinner with someone, you can focus on knowing each other. Genuinely know each other and stop trying to tick off on your head your list of non-negotiable to a future spouse.

Because it becomes too programmatic, men are having a hard time to ask a girl out. There is a need for him to rehearse over and over again. His questions involve: Am I really ready? Is she the one for me? What if she says no? Advance mag isip! 

On the other hand, women are too cautious on saying yes for a coffee. Too conscious on what to wear. Her questions involve: If I say yes for coffee, am I saying yes for marriage? Am I too fast in saying yes to the invitation? Advance mag isip! 

No Failed Courtship 

There is no failed courtship if you come to think about it. The truth is, courtship does not always end in marriage. It could be God’s message that it is not yet time or you are not meant to be.

The question assumes also that there is a one linear, and correct way of doing it. There is not one way. No strict program to follow.

Every love story is created differently. Beautiful beginnings do not start the same. Every ending is a start of new beginnings.

In my opinion, a successful courtship is when you know that God is pleased in the process. Because you’ve put him first and in the center of the journey.

Courtship is a leap of faith knowing that however it will end, you have discovered Him more and you know where you stand in Him – His good, pleasing and perfect will for your life.

Related Readings: (1) While It Hurts: Moving On From A Broken Heart (2) Single and Seeking


Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash









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