My Wife Competes With Me

I saw it in my own father and my father-in-law. They both serve the family in almost all aspects of house chores. That is why I love to serve my wife.

I always look forward to doing things for her in the house. I cook for us. I do grocery. I go to the public market early morning. When I am almost done with breakfast and lunch, I wake her up. She takes a bath while I start preparing coffee, and putting food in the lunch box. After breakfast, I send her off to work then I will be washing the dishes. I will be thinking by then what is for dinner at the end of the day.

That cycle went on for maybe three to four months. But it was bound to change and I did not like it.

Me:      Kuya, I need to consult you about me and Richt.

Rev:     Is there something wrong?

Me:      She started cooking for dinner and I do not like it.

Rev:     You do not like what she cooks?

Me:      I do not like what she is doing. I should be the one doing it. I should be serving her.

Rev:     Glad that Richt is doing it. Allow her. If you don’t, in the coming years you will request for it and it will be a problem because she is not used to doing it.

Serve Each Other

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. –Galatians 5:13

Almost a year of married life, I am glad I took Kuya Rev’s advice. There were days when I look forward to just rest and not do anything. My wife is serving me well. I could not ask for more. Every time I go home from a travel, home is so clean and arranged. I have a not so serious OCD in terms of cleanliness at home that is why I look forward to a fresh and clean welcome. She never fails to make it that way.

Allow each other to serve one another. You will both get into a routine of chores. It is nice to sometimes do what your spouse is supposed to do to let him/her enjoy rest and downtime too.

Serve without expectations. Serve without grumbling. Serve with love.

Compete with One Another

One of the biggest act of service that you can do is to die to self.

You came into married life with a box of dreams and desire. You have a timeline hoping that everything that is in the box will be achieved. Why not? You have a partner who will help you. But your partner has a box of dreams and desire of his or her own. Conflicts might emerge when after opening each box, it does not seem to match.

Marriage is a competition of submission. –Andy Stanley

Conflicts can be avoided when each one of you will submit to each other’s dreams and desires. It is submitting without grumbling. It will help when you envision yourselves in one picture. Not as a competitor but as a partner to help each other.

There will be some stuff in the box that can be set aside. It could be that some of those are something that you long the most. But know that every time you lose something for yourself to serve your spouse is a gain in marriage.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. –Philippians 2:3-4

Your married life will be in better shape when in humility you think of the other person’s dreams and desire as more significant than yours.




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