Which Is A Higher Calling: Husband’s Leadership or Wife’s Submission?

Husband’s leadership is a higher calling. It has a bigger burden.

I was meeting a group of men every Wednesday. We all agreed in the statement above. We all agreed to it with full convictions. We did not know better. Of course! All of us were single and no one were in a relationship.

Three years after, I got married and marriage changes me. One of the changes is on how I look at the calling of a husband and of a wife. I do not wrestle on the question of who has a higher calling anymore. I wrestle now on how I am as a husband and as a leader not just in the eyes of my wife but in the eyes of God. This is why.

Husband’s Leadership

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… -Ephesians 5:25

The verse is clear that husbands should be like Christ. That a husband should deny himself just as Christ did for the church. This is where the pride of husbands takes in. It is simplistic for them to say that the verse for wife is submission only while husband has Christ in it then it is of a higher calling.

Husbands, be careful! You have a calling. You have a mantle of leadership that is accorded to you as a husband. You are entrusted to take the shot in making decisions.

But your leadership calling is not a legitimate platform for you to neglect your wife’s opinion. It is not a means for you to be boss like. You are not even entitled to your wife’s submission.

You cannot force your wife to submit to you. Remember this: You have a hard time following a loving and faithful God. Even if you know that all of Him is for your best interest. And yet you fail to follow Him in all the circumstances of your life. Imagine how hard it is for your wife to submit to a husband who fails to follow God.

Husbands true calling is loving leadership. Loving leadership like Christ.

Have a loving leadership so that it will be easy for your wife to submit. Christ leadership is so loving that His denial for his throne to be here on Earth cost His life. He took it in. He took the hard route just for us to be saved. He did not force us to believe in Him. He pursued us relentlessly, over and over again.

Do not expect for your wife’s submission if you cannot submit to Christ.

How much are you willing to give up for your wife?

Wife’s Submission

 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. –Ephesians 5:22

Submission is never easy. It is not easy because you can see your husband’s flaws and imperfections. It is not easy because you know that your opinions make sense. It is not easy because sometimes your husband’s decision is not what your heart says.

Study says that women can speak as much as 20,000 words per day. During passionate conversations with some impending decisions to make, probably you force yourself to stop talking and allow your husband to decide. That is a lot of words to be suppressed!

Wives, there is grace in submission. When you acknowledge the leadership of your husband and support his calling to lead, it empowers him. It gives him the confidence to grow and the respect that he needs for him to believe that he can. The society has a lot of words to say already about how it is to be a man. And to be respected in one’s family or home is a springboard for him to respect who he is and what he can do.

You know that nagging to your husband is not right. It is not submission. It is not healthy for relationship when you nag which most of the times lead to harsh words.

So, congrats if you do not nag!

How about grumbling? Grumbling is to complain or protest about something in a bad-tempered but typically muted way. You do not nag, yes! But to submit with grumbling, your heart’s submission is still not right. Because while you seem to agree to your husband, deep inside your heart, it withers away from him.

Submission for the sake of submission is not right. Submission entails supporting with all your heart the decisions that your husband calls for. It means being one team in heart and in the Spirit.

Remember also that you have a powerful God. He can easily soften a heart of stone. When you have a hard time agreeing to your husband’s decision, pray about it. Trust God that He is talking to your husband also.

Trust God. Trust God to convict your husband so that he will do what is right.

Which Is A Higher Calling?

No calling is higher than the other. The calling of the husband to lead and the wife to submit is all equal in the eyes of God. Both calling involves denying to self. Both calling entails following the lordship of Christ.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” –John 13:34-35

The verse above of loving one another is applicable whether you take it as an individual or as a married couple. Your calling to love each other encompasses all seasons. This is with the hope that other people will know and see Christ in your marriage.

Husbands, submit to God in order to lead your wife. Wives, love God in order to submit to your husband.



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