How Are You Setting Your Standards?

When getting into relationships, how are you setting your standards? Do physical qualities matter more than the person’s character? Do you stick to your standards, or compromises the second you find something irresistible from a person you want to get close with?

Ungodly Standards

I feel sad that most people rush getting into a relationship, and would only end up hurt, and heartbroken. I understand that there may be factors why they do (peer pressure, loneliness, insecurity, desperation, etc.), but I hope that they would understand when they are not in the season of dating, then it is unnecessary to  do so. Some people are setting their standards base on their fantasies and expectations. Some base it on their past experiences, and future anticipations. But very few people base it on their beliefs, and only a few would have uncompromising attitudes toward their standards.

There are a lot of social factors that influence people when they are setting their standards. But one of the most prominent factor is media. That’s why we should be careful of what we read, and watch as these can set a hopeful but unrealistic expectation to anyone.

“So then, where should I base my standards for an enduring love life?”, you might ask. Base it on God’s love story.

Not Taken For Granted

If the Bible is summarized, the whole idea is simple. It is about God’s love for His people, and how He rescued them from death to be reunited with Him. If that is not what you call perfect love, I don’t know what is.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” -John 16:33

God created relationship. Adam’s first task was to take care of God’s creation. God made Eve because He doesn’t want Adam to be lonely, therefore, His creation is incomplete without relationship.

God perfected the concept of relationship, so there shall be no fear when we base our standards from Him regarding our relationships.

There are a lot of people who have been taken for granted, for some people, it is because they took their standards for granted. They compromised what they value, and settled for what they think is good. No person deserves to be taken for granted. God never took His people for granted. In fact, He loved us so much that it came to a point where He made himself human to make the ultimate sacrifice once and for all.

For all the ladies out there, know your worth.

When Jesus died on the cross, it is because you are his first choice. He chose to love you more than Himself.

So why should you settle for people who only sees you as their second choice? Ask God for a godly man. A man who wouldn’t compromise both your standards and his. Man who values his relationship with God more than anything else. A man who leads like Jesus, and loves like Jesus. While you’re waiting for “the one”, cultivate your womanhood, not for the sake of the man you’re waiting for, but for God.

As for the men, do not date for the purpose of finding your own satisfaction. Love is not all about satisfying each other’s needs, but it is about being committed to your partner because God has already satisfied your needs. I have said this before, and I will say it again:

Date with the intention of marriage.

If you don’t intend to marry the woman, then don’t date her in the first place. God designed marriage, not dating. Imitate Jesus’ love for the church when you find the woman you will pursue. Do not compromise between your relationship with God and relationship with a woman, instead, seek God until He leads you to the woman He wills for you.

Related Article: Wait Before You Date

In general, be patient as God prepares you for the person He meant for you to be with. As you wait, seize the opportunity to  enjoy your season, and to grow more with your relationship with God.

Related Article: Single and Seeking

When God said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him”, this means that He is faithful to keep His promise, and that He will surely give you the right person to the perfect pair with.


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