I received a message from a friend for accountability check that says ‘I failed’. It is a code for losing self-control and falling into the temptation of lust. It was not my first time to receive it; at least not just from him but from others also. So, I decided to give him a lecture.
This was my reply:
How do I pray for you on that? I am compassionate to you but the pattern is that I would only know after the fact. I would appreciate if I can pray for you, and call you the first time you feel the hint of it.
Admittedly, my reply was harsh and bordering towards condemnation already. The long-term relationship saved me there as he accepted it as a loving rebuke from a friend.
I WAS THERE TOO
So, why am I writing about this? Because I want all men to know that there is a way out of it. That you can control sexual lust and temptations. That you can shy away from pornography. That there is more to life than all those things combined.
I can say that because I was there in that situation too. I tried a lot of ways to take it away from me. I downloaded applications in my phone and in my laptop so that when I search any words that might be related to sex, it will prompt at the email of my accountability partners. I tried to put a password so that any sites that might have explicit content, it will prompt me the password which is a life verse. Try as I may to stop it, most of the time I would fail and feel worse than ever before.
WHAT WAS THE WAY OUT?
Find a mentor
I needed help. We all need help. There is always an area in your life where God has been trying to deal you with. Sexual immorality or temptations could be for you in this season. My mentors helped me deal a lot of things about my life including that.
Do not expect them to come to you. Approach them and tell them that you need to be mentored. Be honest and humble to ask their guidance how to have victory over this area in your life.
Be accountable to them. Tell them not after the fact but even when you just have hints of it. It will be awkward in the beginning. That is what the enemy (Satan) wants you to feel so that you isolate yourself and fall into it. But it becomes less and less awkward until you form the habit of it. My mentor who is my accountability partner on this would usually call me or text me with a prayer. It gives me the strength and boost in the spirit knowing that someone is covering me in prayer.
I remember one of my mentors telling me this:
You cannot control a bird from appearing in your head but you have a choice not to allow it from forming a nest.
Mentors reminded me that we should make no excuses in filtering what should not linger into our head.
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. –Proverbs 12:15
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Have a battle plan
We are in a spiritual battle. The more you get closer to God, the more that the enemy wants to take you back to the filth that you were in. The enemy has studied you from the moment you were born and he knew exactly what will lead you into sin. If he has a scheme for you to go on sinning, you should have your battle plan ready as well.
I put an alarm every 6:18 in the morning and the label says 1 Corinthians 6:18. The verse goes like this:
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
There are a lot of verses in the Bible about sexual immorality. I chose this because it is very direct and without subtlety. The word ‘flee’ gives a picture in my head that I should run and go away from it.
I have an alarm at 10:00PM which is labelled as ‘No Gadget Time’. The small gadget makes you feel that all your searches are easy to hide. By putting it away from me, it allows me to do more reading or writing.
Make a habit to sleep early. Study shows that most men who watch pornography do it between 12midnight to 3AM. This is the time when you feel like no one is watching you and your brain starts from wandering around.
Read the Bible and Pray
I believe in the transforming power of the word of God. The Bible is the inspired words of God that will give you reminders. It will remind you that your flesh will always wage a war against your soul.
…sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it. –Genesis 4:7
This is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It says that sin desires you and is just always waiting for you to be indulged in it. But God said that we must rule over it. For me, this is God’s way of saying that we can fight against it. We are not a slave of it.
After reading the Bible is my time of prayer. Prayer positions me to be His child and that I need His grace to take me out of any situations that will compromise my new testimony and purity. The Bible clearly says that:
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. –1 Corinthians 10:13
My confidence in praying comes from knowing that God is faithful. He is always gracious to provide a way out if we are willing to obey.
THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU
You are not a lost cause. The enemy has seen you at your worst and he wants you to be devoured by sin completely. But God loved you so much that even at your worst He wants to extend His grace by sending Jesus so you can be completely free.
Lift up in prayer all your sins. So that when you are in tune with God then you will know his will for you. His pleasing and perfect will for your life. God calls you for purity and holiness.
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor… – 1 Thessalonians 4:3
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Finally, I can attest that marriage is never the solution. Start doing something about this even before you date.
It is a hard battle but worth it. Victory over lust and sexual temptations is knowing that in this area of your life, you are not rebelling to a loving God.
WRITTEN BY: JUNVER ARCAYNA