Sorry For Keeping A Secret


It was one Sunday morning of last year that I woke up to a shocking message from my aunt in Bacolod that my uncle had just passed away. I got up immediately and called her. I was crying not for the memories I had with my Uncle but for the lost opportunity to share Jesus to him.

I felt the guilt for failing the commission God has given me. It was so bad that I even told my Aunt “why did you not ask the pastors to come over soon when you knew he wasn’t feeling well already”. Suddenly, I was pointing finger and I could hear the enemy (Satan) laughing hard rejoicing as I was taking the bait. Exactly what he wanted me to feel and respond. This scene was witnessed by my sister, mom and dad. It was not a pleasing sight to see as I know that my parents too don’t have a relationship with Jesus yet. Then my sister told me that the last among the senses that would be cut off from a dying person is the sense of hearing. I told my aunt to reach the phone to his ear and I began to tell the words hoping it would be clear enough as I was also sobbing. I told him:

I am sorry for keeping a secret for so long. You know what, Jesus loves you and He wanted you to be with Him in heaven, please accept Him now.

I was desperate. This experience made me realize how short this life is and how we live it will have significant effects on both this finite world and the eternal. Time is fleeting.

Yet you do not know what tomorrow would bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. – James 4:14

I’ve come into terms with considering time as my enemy. That there is so little time with so many things to do and so many people to meet, and so much of that time I am wasting away for things that don’t matter. Adding to that are the hours spent for my whims and grumblings if things weren’t happening according to my will. It’s funny how I judged that everything should happen according to my will when my life is just a mist in this world.

Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that. – James 4:15

Though this life is short, God did not want us to live a limited life. He wants us to live a full life. A life that is lived for His kingdom. A life lived under His will which is to honor and glorify Him.  

To know that the little time I have, my life which is just a mist has a big role in the kingdom of God, I feel privileged. I now see that time is my tool. That time is my best asset. That time is what I have that most of the people before me lost already and that how I decide to use the rest of my time to make it count in the eternal is most significant. I have the time and I need to make it count.

For those like me who want to make every time that you have count to the eternal, I plan to carry these important points with me moving forward.

Urgency of the Gospel

I believed in Jesus early in my life and I am very grateful for the people who’ve pointed me to the truth about His great sacrifice for me. And this great secret should not end with me. It shouldn’t be a secret at all because there are people out there who need to hear it.

How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? -Romans 10:4

God’s Timing Is Never Late

Before, I regretted why I did not respond right away the first time Jesus was shared to me. Then I realized that not mine but His timing is perfect. God has gone before me and have seen the end of mankind. He is all-knowing and sovereign. Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing!

He will accomplish His plans, whatever it takes!

I should not be frustrated neither with how slow or different the journey of faith is for other people I shared the Gospel with. Even to those who have turned away or did not respond at all because God will do whatever it takes and use whoever He wants to make Himself known again. Don’t ever think that you are alone carrying the secret.


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