How Are You Preparing for Marriage?

Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22

If you are in the season of getting married, how do you prepare for it?  This question is not about your wedding preparation. It is about your married life. Your wedding happens in a day while marriage is for a lifetime.

My wife and I got married last December 2016. I was tied up with work commitments during the wedding preparation. My wife and a friend did the food tasting. Two weeks before the day, I visited the shop that made what I wore during the wedding. The wedding day eventually came and I was so grateful because God made it happen so beautifully for me and my wife.

But how did we prepare for marriage?

We read a lot of books. We attended marriage preparation seminar. But for me, the most important marriage preparation was when we invited married couples for a date night. We made time to meet couples who we can seek counsel for what marriage looks like after the wedding day.

We asked only one question and that is, “What advice can you give us as we start this new season?”

With that, we received more than one answer.

  • That marriage is a gift of time and lives shared.
  • That marriage is about two imperfect people with a perfect God in the center.
  • That marriage involves laundry, cooking, doing groceries and singing.
  • That marriage is a test of leadership and submission.

But the truth is: No one can really be prepared for marriage. Sure, we learned about their stories and how we should decide on things or what to prioritize. But there are days when the manual they gave does not include what to do when we fight on specific things, even on the littlest things that don’t even matter, or so we thought.

Thus, we look forward to meeting them again. They are our helpdesk and emergency line. We are so grateful that during our marriage preparation, we invited couples who can speak in to our lives. They have given us permission to dial their numbers when things get rough.

We have met some of them again. Some of them are people that I am accountable with. They laugh at my innocence sometimes when I realize how hard loving leadership could get. They correct and rebuke me because of my selfishness. I have given my wife a permission to contact them and their wives if I become unbearable.

Now, think about your marriage preparation more. And if you are married already, it is never late to do this. Look around and invite couples you think are great examples for you and your spouse. Learn from them. Invite them into your life. This is one of the investments that we never regretted as a couple. Your wedding happens in one day and you can spend so much time for it. My hope is that you invest time also on your marriage preparation.

Written by: Junver Arcayna


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